There's a lot I could say for Grandma and others who have passed on. I will attend to that in due time. This is about one small part of that. This is about having your traditions and letting go of them. It is very hard for me.
This is going to be the last year with Christmas at Grandma Boomhower's, 814 Warren Ave. She passed away this past July. Here's a picture of her from her last formal portrait sitting (I believe it's for her church):
Grandpa Boomhower passed away in March of 1999 and my mother in September of 2002 so now my father is the only one living in 814 and he doesn't need that much space he says. We're having one last gathering there as a family this Christmas and then Dad, Uncle Tim and Aunt Jeanne are selling the house.
Grandma and Grandpa bought the house back in 1964/5 when they moved there from Poughkeepsie, NY to follow Grandpa's job with IBM at the time. My father had just started college at the time and transferred from the University of Rochester to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Dean Smith had just started coaching there a few years prior. Jeanne was still in high school and Tim grade school.
So 814 has been Grandma and Grandpa Boomhower's house for at least 46 years. It's "Grandma and Grandpa's". It's home base. It's where Boomhowers (end extended Boomhowers) always gathered for every major occasion. It's the only place that has stayed constant my entire life. My family never owned a house or lived anywhere longer than 3 years, but there was always "Grandma and Grandpa's". That all changes after this Christmas.
Even when my family lived in Oklahoma, we'd try to make it up to Cary for Christmas. We'd visit with Grandma and Grandpa Williams as well, who lived in Raleigh, but we'd always stay at 814 because they had room to put up the 6 of us and our pets. You could smell the pine trees when you got near the Appalachians. There always seemed to be more Christmas decorations in North Carolina and Grandma certainly decked her house out to be a wintry wonderland despite the usual lack of snow that tends to plague NC Christmases. Once we finally pulled into the luminary illuminated driveway it was on like SantaKong. Jingle holly merriment was a go. Even after we moved back to NC and lived in Fayetteville, we'd go to 814 for the annual Christmas Eve celebration. Even after Christmas became less cool for me as a teenager, I still loved diving into the spirit of things at Grandma and Grandpa's each year. There are somethings you can't help no matter what age you are.
We moved closer to Cary when I was in high school so we started visiting 814 much more often for various other holidays and birthdays. It became less of Christmas central for me and more of an actual house. I even lived there for a brief bit after college. It was still the hub of our family wheel.
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| Jeanne and Al, Tom and Tim, Grandma and Grandpa |
My family now has families of our own. We've divied up some of the holiday/birthday gatherings amongst us, but there has always been Christmas Eve at Grandma's. When Kim and I got married we had to split the holidays with her family as they also held things on Christmas Eve. I really hated losing that special time at Grandma's place every other year, but being married means learning to compromise and I enjoy Kimmy's family. Zoe had her first Christmas there.
She was just over a month old. I know she won't remember it. There are always pictures though. I was very happy to share with her the whole experience of Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's. I'm glad of that. Kim's first Christmas Eve with my family was very special too. Sharing Christmas with her at Grandma's made me almost as excited as our (then) upcoming wedding (it was a distant second, but I was still pretty jazzed about the whole shebang). She was actually moved to tears by it all.
I loved bringing folks over to 814. The door was always open. There was always food to be eaten and talk of family, the good kind. Grandma and Grandpa welcomed anyone and everyone into their home. I've brought so many folks over for Christmas and things over the years that I've lost count. Everyone was always warmly received and most still speak fondly about their visit. Grandma was the main impetus behind that. She infused the house with grandmotherly love as well as tons of stuff, but it was all stuff that was related to family and friends like pictures, gifts, cards and momentos of her and Grandpa's travels together. It was never stuff for stuff's sake. It was cluttered, but homey.
Grandma is gone now. I miss her sorely as I do Mom, Grandpa Boomhower, Grandma and Grandpa Williams, and Uncle Bo. 814 Warren Ave. is not quite the same anymore. It too will be gone from our family soon. This will be the last Christmas Eve there and I am sadder about it than I care to admit. I know we will have Christmas and other things at our own places, but it's never quite going to replace that same atmosphere that just enveloped Grandma's each year. It was home to a wonderful family for 46 years. It's going to take time to infuse one of our places with the amount of love and laughter that that place has held.
This is a Christmas of goodbyes. There have been harder ones, but not many. Goodbye, Grandma. Goodbye, 814. I know it seems silly to be sad over a house, but it was such a part of Grandma's being that having to say goodbye to it too just breaks my heart all over again. I will cherish the memories.
Time to create a few new traditions.
love,
Jeremy
